I went to a really fun birthday party last night, met some very cool people there. I finished nearly all my errands yesterday and had a pretty productive day as well, so the evening was completely pressure free. I was worried the introversion dragon (an undeniable part of my soul) was going to surface and demand its needs be met, but it was quiet.
I felt fresh and sprightly this morning. I worked out, then went to my voice lesson which I enjoyed. I dressed up for a birthday barbecue in the afternoon and as I was working up the energy to leave my place for the party it hit. 15 minutes before the party was going to start, I called my brother confessing that I desperately needed some alone time and was thinking of flaking out on a good friend. Feeling extremely guilty, I kept trying to beat myself up. I’m not a flake, I try hard to show up when I commit so not showing up was rough. But my brain wasn’t having any of it. My brother’s one of my closest friends, and can usually separate need from laziness on my end. “Say something came up and you can’t make it.” But I haven’t seen my friend in a long time, and he’s just gotten better from being really sick. “Send him a gift.”
As I realized what I was going to do (send my friend a deeply apologetic note asking to meet for dinner some other time, and stay home), I said with a note of glee, “I bought a bottle of white wine for the party, and I’m going to crack it open over lunch and Netflix.” I spent the afternoon watching the Jem and The Holograms cartoon series from the late 80’s, and experimenting with different food and snack options to complement the Sauvignon blanc I had just opened. Some takeaways from this: my lunch of tomato and cheese sandwich paired with an arugula, strawberries and walnut salad worked extremely well with the wine. Luna bars don’t. Swiss cheese with Dijon mustard, lemon juice and really tangy and hot pepper sauce also works.
A part of me wants to judge myself as being lame and childish, but my afternoon was thoroughly enjoyable.