Just finished a new single this past weekend, and have scheduled it to be released on Friday. So excited! It made me really happy to write it and finish it. I partly used it as a way to process the grief of my grandmother passing, but mostly as a tribute to my childhood and her unconditional love. I’m really grateful to a couple of friends for important conversations around our childhood as well, one of whom suggested I take the Pathway to Peace course with her. The coursework paved the way for me to finish writing this song. I can’t wait to share it, so stay tuned for more soon!!
Almost A Normal Weekend
I was desolate when I saw the news on Friday: that the Notorious RBG, one of my heroes and a true legend, had passed away. Things are so uncertain now American friends of mine are starting to panic. I have no idea what the next few months will look like for me, a brown, immigrant woman witnessing the US’ social and political upheaval.
But this weekend brought a breath of fresh air and sunshine. Restaurants and salons have started to open up, and I’m seeing happier faces on the streets. I met up with two sets of friends for food over the weekend, and got my nails done. Being around people I love was wonderful, and reminded me all the amazing aspects of my life I used to love. The weather was sunny and perfect, and the air quality was so good that it was almost hard to remember the wildfires.
As we continue to move forward with this crazy year and a really murky future, I’m grateful I had a lovely weekend of laughter, good food, and loved ones. Oh, and my toenails are now an iridescent, shimmering teal. 🙂
Here’s to hoping there’s hope, here’s to love and laughter. Hope you are all staying safe and well! Much love.
I caught up with some close family members today in person. We were socially distanced and wearing masks to be safe, but just the act of getting together in person felt incredible. It was a reminder that “socially distanced” does not mean emotional isolation, and doesn’t even mean absolute physical separation if you follow regulations and safety precautions such as wearing masks and keeping your distance. There was a lot of hand sanitizer used as well. 🙂
This is the new normal. There won’t be a “going back to the way things were” for a long time, if ever. While it does make me sad because I loved the life I had, the key thing moving forward is to make sure that we continue to find ways to be human and connect with each other. I realized last week that I was trying to just wait it out until we get to the other side, but I’m not sure that reality exists.
The past few months have been difficult and draining for me and a lot of other people. There are a few folks like my brother who are perfectly fine, though he has his puppy for company. For more social folks like myself who rely on communities and gatherings and seeing people face to face (which I absolutely love), it’s been a real challenge. I’ve missed my family and friends, I’ve missed the random connections with strangers in the city, I’ve missed the shows, the music, the art, the culture.
I’m not sure what the future will look like right now, but I need to figure out how I can define my own sense of connection in it. If I can think of it as an interesting new problem to solve, or pretend like I’m an astronaut or a space explorer, I might be able to make it something fun instead of something that’s cause for despair.
Only time will tell.
Creative juices flowing
I finished writing a song last week, and after a long time today just sat down to write a brand new song out of nowhere.
This wasn’t planned for the album, but this song had words to say. I think it’s been years since I last did this (“Impossible” may have been the last song where this happened??), but I finished this new song in one sitting and it literally just wrote itself.
Sudden, unexpected tears pouring down my face with the emotional release, and I’m really grateful. It feels cathartic, and peaceful, and the words poured out from a place that’s raw and real.
May peace be with you all this weekend! Love and hugs. 🙂
Peace, finally :)
It’s the end of the week, and a lot of my projects are starting to come to a close. I also found some closure this week, and was at peace today after a long time.
This weekend will be as fun as the new normal can be, with virtual and socially distanced gatherings with loved ones. I’m excited for it, and finally found some energy again.
After the Funeral
“It’s the end of an era,” said Appa (my father) and my aunt separately when I reached out to them after my grandmother’s funeral. It truly feels that way. Today’s funeral was a really elegant and lovely ceremony with heartfelt speeches from my uncles and my aunt in Toronto. My grandparents moved there when I was a little girl because the largest cluster of their children was there. Growing up, they would split their time between my nuclear family, and our family in Canada. Her funeral was attended by people in Canada who were local, and attended virtually by people living across the US, India, and as far away as Australia.
I got to know them both well as a result. I’ve always admired my grandmother’s strong spirit and intelligence, her wit and her charm. It felt desolate and strange to see her shrunken body in the casket during the virtually streamed ceremony without her liveliness, warmth and personality. Hard to imagine they were the same person.
The funeral rites ended as they moved her to the crematorium. And then she was gone. We were left with our memories, tears, sense of loss and regrets. I can feel her spirit, and I know her love is always there for me to remember. But every time I think about it, I choke up and start crying.
I’m truly grateful that I have close family and friends to count on and reach out to right now. I’m really lucky that I have so many good, kind, loving and generous people in my life.
Here’s to the end of the journey of a remarkable woman, who had a very difficult life but persevered with a deep love of life and an amazing sense of humor. I never saw a trace of bitterness for any of the pain she had suffered, and I’m truly inspired by her strength.
Red and Pink :)
I’m the kind of person who often wears black on Valentine’s Day just to make a statement. But this year I’m wearing pink and I’m going to help decorate the office in bright, bold colors tomorrow. I feel like I’m at the stage where I want to celebrate everything I can, and add as much color to my life as possible. Even if it’s Hallmark Day. 🙂
Hope your weekend starts with love, hope, and forgiveness! Here’s one of my favorite songs from Broken, Perfect: