Only a week away, but the season already feels like it’s ended. I wore fall colors today (wine) to celebrate. AQI is 42 and green right now, I’m so grateful, relieved and happy to see that. Sadly, Portland is still in bad shape. Hoping it rains there soon to help.
Feeling peaceful and calm today, despite a hectic and frazzled morning. Hope you are all well!
The wildfires tinted the sky yellow on Monday, and I was inspired to wear this dress to start the week off right.
I actually had a wonderful Monday, which was a nice break. Then on Tuesday I found out I probably got scammed via Instagram to become a brand ambassador, ended up running into a major issue and working 16+ hours trying to solve it, still haven’t fixed it and today was another long day at work. I feel worn out, but at the point where everything is just sad and absurd. 🙂 So I’m still able to laugh, which I’m grateful for.
I’m weirdly calm, because of a complete loss of hope, I think, lol. I read an article reviewing a book written by a Buddhist monk, or maybe it was an interview? The main gist I walked away with was: in order to truly find solutions and achieve peace, you need to stop hoping for something better.
This is reality, peeps. This is what we’ve got. So what do we do with it? I’m grateful tomorrow’s Thursday. I tried to take vacation tomorrow and Friday, but I’m swamped and will probably end up working through some of my PTO. Really hope I finish the week launching these, because I really like our partners/clients. They take a lot of pride in what they do, and I want to make sure we really give them the value they’re looking for. It’s how businesses grow.
Will find out on Friday, I guess. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to my dentist’s appointment tomorrow? I really like their office and the people who work there. 🙂
I had a wonderful, lovely quick chat with my father this morning. He and I had had a big argument a few days prior, and I hadn’t talked to him since though I’d called my mom. It took a lot to pick up the phone to try again. My parents were in the middle of a movie, so the call was brief, but there was so much love and affection and happiness in his voice. He was really glad I’d called.
After I jumped off the call, I enjoyed my peace for a few seconds before going down the negative thought spirals that so often consume my waking days now. Anger at the system, anger at the bad leaders I’ve been exposed to at the international and smaller level at my company. Anger at the sexism and racism that I and so many of my friends have faced. Anger at the lack of repercussions and accountability at the very top where it matters the most. The burdens of some of the biggest problems are always borne by the people who can least afford to bear it.
To break the cycle, I brought myself back to my dad’s voice over the phone. It made me smile. Time for a list of things I’m grateful for:
My family’s love, despite past disagreements. Right now, I choose to focus on our togetherness and unfailing love.
I just finished a delicious cup of hot cocoa I’d made with spices that I really enjoyed. 🙂
It’s a soft, foggy, humid, contemplative day in San Francisco. While I love sunny days, these types of days bring me peace because it slows my pace of thinking down if I allow it to sink in. If I allow myself to be present in the now.
I’ve been getting tons of rest during the night this weekend. All the emotions, frustration, feeling trapped, anger, sadness and disappointment have been taking a toll on my sleep, so I’m really grateful that I’ve been able to get several nights of wonderful, rejuvenating sleep. It was much needed.
I had an awesome Saturday. I was happy most of the day yesterday even though I mostly just ran errands and worked out and sang as usual. I got to hang out virtually with my brother and we watched a movie together on Netflix and then chatted about it on Skype.
I’m grateful that technology still allows me to be close to people who are far away, who I really miss.
I’m catching up with other close friends today.
Happy Sunday! I hope you find things that bring you peace and joy today!