Grateful for the Sad

The past couple of months have been a struggle for me, due to several events beyond my control. I’m truly grateful that I’ve landed in a pretty good place in June, but the sadness that overcame my life during large parts of April and May will not just disappear. I’m able to find relief through tons of activity that is close to where I was before the pandemic with friends and family who are willing to connect and spend time with me. The writer’s block is broken, and while I’m still relearning how to focus and write like I used to, I’m getting so many ideas again.

While I’m better and there so much joy and peace with the new things I’m trying out and the people I’m reconnecting with and others I’m meeting for the first time, during pockets of much needed solitude I’m left once again with my fears and my demons. I’ve lost something that I had before the pandemic: an ability to be at peace and happy when I’m alone. I got incredibly adept and comfortable with it during the pandemic and found a lot of peace, but now that I’ve tasted connection and community again, I feel fragile and sad when I’m alone.

I’ve realized over the past few weeks that I can’t bury or distract myself from the sadness in the long run. It feels unpleasant and heavy to sit with the ache and the pain, but I have to. Today’s practice is to be grateful for the sadness, because I get a lot out of it. I get some of my art, there’s passion that comes out of strong emotions, and growth if you allow it. There’s empathy for myself and other folks who are going through a tough time, and it’s a genuine reminder to hold memories of the good times close. It’s also a reminder to deeply enjoy the amazing things I do have, like a nice home, a job, good food and close family and friends. I have leisure.

So today, I am grateful for the sad and all the good and lessons that come with it.

Broken, Perfect (Album) – I can’t believe it’s finally over

A huge thanks to all the people I roped into this project: we did it. 🙂 Robert sent me the final versions of all the masters for “Broken, Perfect” last week, and I uploaded all of them on Soundcloud on Friday. Here’s the link! https://soundcloud.com/samayaformusic/albums

My friend Maira (an amazing graphic designer) designed the cover, and captured the heart of what I was trying to convey incredibly well. Thank you!

I can’t believe it’s done. Strange mixture of emotions, relief (we made it to the finish line), happiness (OMG, I’ve released my second album!!), but also a very real sense of loss (what’s the point of my life now??). A part of me almost feels shell shocked, because we’ve been pounding the pavement so hard for a while to get the album done. I think this is what empty nest syndrome must feel like. 🙂

The next project is our show at Brick and Mortar on August 6th (Sunday). The date is coming up really fast; I feel like this crazy year’s been speeding by.

Wish me luck on everything else to come, and hope you all had an amazing weekend!image1

Cycles: New Track on Soundcloud!

Just uploaded a new track on Soundcloud! If you’d like see us live at Monroe, get tickets here: http://aftonshows.com/samaya.

Cycles went through several incarnations, and we had to go back to the drawing board and do everything over for this one. It’s funny how that happens to songs on albums sometimes. 🙂 When I released the first version of the track that Robert and I wrote, we really liked it. We listened to the original version a few months later and couldn’t stand it anymore and realized it was completely different from the album concept.

We’re working hard on the show now and time’s flying by; I can’t believe April’s almost over!

Two-Face

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The epic battle of Batman Vs Superman hits theaters today, which raises the impossible question, who’s side are you on?

Here’s a great article from Bustle featuring the movie soundtrack.

Keeping up with the superhero theme, my new single “Harvey Dent”, dropped this week. Inspired by the DC Comic villain Two-Face, “Harvey Dent” is a dark, moody tale of deception. We all know ‘that’ guy – the one that is sweet on the surface but can he be trusted? The chorus really says it all: He’ll never make a groom / And he’s never a gent / All the days together / Won’t be time well spent // At best he’s a ruse / With full intent / To use and confuse / He’s Harvey Dent!

Check out the full lyrics and song below. Enjoy!

Harvey Dent
He waits for the right moment
Strikes at the opportune time
On the surface it all seems perfect
Underneath, it’s all a lie

A smile is the best you’re given
But it never reaches his eyes
He’s good, he’ll be sure to tell you
But it’s just a thin disguise

Chorus
He’ll never make a groom
And he’s never a gent
All the days together
Won’t be time well spent

At best he’s a ruse
With full intent
To use and confuse
His mind’s all bent

Verse 2
His words will make you feel safer
But his motives are always unkind
Maybe he wants to be better
(but) Compassion’s in short supply.

In his world this is how it’s done now
He won’t fight by your side
His soul is truly broken
His heart, completely blind.

If you want to stay a part of his story
Your future doesn’t look bright
You’re just a mere accessory
To delusions in his mind.

He is the only hero
In the chapters of his life
His vision is rosy and clouded
No hope he’ll see the light.

Verse 3
You’ve come to the final stages
Here’s a word of advice
Walk right out of these pages
Turn away, and don’t think twice.

The view up ahead is gorgeous
You’ve got your own verses to write
Not much left in him to care for
If love’s your chosen prize.

Chorus
He’ll never make a groom
And he’s never a gent
All the days together
Won’t be time well spent

At best he’s a ruse
With full intent
To use and confuse
He’s Harvey Dent!

Singing In The New Year

New year, new music. 2015 was an amazing year for my personal music career. I released four new tracks and pushed myself to sing at more gigs in the city. Can’t wait to see what 2016 brings for my work and passion.

Music feeds my soul, which is why I love finding new hidden gems by truly talented artists. Here’s a countdown of the top 10 songs of 2015 that shaped me as an artist. Which was your most memorable track 2015?

Women In Music

The Billboard Women In Music Awards was this past weekend and it was just full of amazing talent. A night to truly embrace and celebrate the progress for women in the music industry.

From Missy Elliot to Selena Gomez to Lana Del Rey, it was night of superstar women all in one place.

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Fifth Harmony and Demi Levato

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Lady Gaga and Lana Del Rey

Lady Gaga accepted the great honor of Women of the Year at the ceremony.

With her music, strong business acumen, sense of purpose, and avant-garde style, she broke through the music industry to be immensely successful on her own terms. Despite having gained so much fame and success, her approach to people and fans is down to earth and genuine. She’s heavily involved in giving back to the community and wants to make a difference. She’s truly an inspiring artist and role model.