Skeletons in the Closet

I performed a short set at Martuni’s again last Monday. I learned a lot from the show, about myself, about what I am capable of, and what I need to work on. I got a very positive response from the audience there that night, but I was unhappy with my performance to a point where I felt pretty drained after. My voice teacher (also my accompanist) gave me some very good advice: at the end of the day performance opportunities won’t come up as often as you’d like, so enjoy it. Turn of the chatter of self-loathing in your head.

As I’m looking to get out to other venues and perform longer shows, this is definitely something I need to work on. After decades of having performed on stage, I still haven’t managed to overcome my stage fright. I love to sing and write songs and I really love sharing that passion with other people. I need to make that my focus, as opposed to getting stuck on needing my voice to match a perfect ideal I have in my mind.

Guiding Lights

It’s been a great weekend, and life is going well. I’m happy. One of the most intriguing moments from this weekend was randomly meeting a former musician from Teatro ZinZanni. He said he spent almost a decade working at an incredibly rewarding job as a musician there with people who became part of his family. He made a very comfortable living working a few hours every night (enough to compete with salaries in the tech industry today), and still had tons of time to spare for an additional job or time with his family. Sadly, the San Francisco branch shut down not too long ago, but he said those years were some of the best of his life. I was so happy for him, and so glad to have met someone with a story like his. He actually managed to become a professional musician who found a high level of satisfaction with the work he was doing, while easily being able to support himself financially.

Beauty

It was a great feeling getting out of bed and being excited about the start of the day. I had a new downtempo track I’m working on with a couple of producers playing in my head as I got on the train on my way to work. It was my very own soundtrack. I can’t stay away from music. It’s comforting knowing that I won’t give it up.

The Art Of Juggling

I recently switched jobs right after I’d started to feel settled in the old one. Hours are long again, and the commute isn’t great, but I’m hoping I’ll be able to juggle everything and still manage to fit in time for music. Less time means more song ideas, of course. 🙂 I’m definitely glad for the change in general.

Fantasy Realms

An hour just flew by as I doodled out a cover of Little Dragon’s Twice. I have no intention of ever performing it, but I absolutely love the simplicity and beauty of the song. My original plan was to work on tweaking the chords on my latest song, but I couldn’t resist. I’ve created an amazing, fantasy space of my own in my room over the past couple of hours, where I’ve been listening to Max’s latest version of the single we’re working on, practicing Twice, and working on the production of one of the songs I finished writing last week. For the first time in weeks, I’ve finally found a pocket of peace and calm. I’m really grateful for it…it’s been a crazy few months.

Getting Closer To The Finish Line

And yes! I’ve finished all three songs for the next gig. I now have 6 songs done for a new EP, 8 songs in total that are performance ready. I’m only planning to use 2 songs from my first album if there’s a longer gig in the fall, sadly. I’ll need a total of 10 songs for about 45-50 minutes of performance time…there’s an old song that I’ve finished writing the lyrics for, but I still need to work on the chords for song number 9. What’s my final song going to be about?? Super excited to explore this idea, but I have no pending concepts to flesh out. It’ll have to be something brand new. Lots of numbers in this post. 🙂

Success!

I managed to finish writing the lyrics for the song I was feeling blocked on last night. I’ve still got the chords left to work on, and I’m still wrestling with the 5/4 time signature. I’m going to get some feedback on it during my voice lesson tomorrow. If the time signature sounds too forced, it may be time to abandon it for something a bit more normal. I’m really hoping I can make it work, though! Only one more song left for the gig now.

Brain Locked

I’ve had some extra time over the past few days, and I’ve managed to finish writing one song out of three for my next gig in August. I’m prepping for a longer show sometime later in the fall. I’m stuck on song number two, and have no ideas for the third. Song number two is rough and it’s in 5/4 time signature. I’ll admit, while 5/4 is my favorite time signature, it’s not an easy one to work with. I need to find some emotional inspiration for the song as I’m drawing a blank on the lyrics, though I’m extremely excited about the concept I’ve sketched out for the song. If I get it right, this could be a really cool song. Drawing a blank on words, though, that’s not normal…Frustrated. 🙁

Strange Worlds

I finished writing another song today. It’s remarkable how much easier it gets every time I try to put something together. Ten years ago I would never have imagined I could finish one song, let alone finish an EP and be working on my second one. I spent several hours in the studio today with the two downtempo producers I work with to finish up vocals for two tracks we’re on a tight deadline for. It was amazing. All of us can spend hours doing this stuff. As we walked out of the studio after we’d exhausted all the time we had available to us and my voice was starting to get hoarse and scratchy from singing, it felt like we’d left a completely different and wonderful universe behind. As we walked back into this world, it was definitely an adjustment and I always feel a sense of regret as I leave that space.

I hope everyone finds a little bit of the same kind of peace and happiness this weekend that I get when I’m in the studio. It’s such a great feeling, and I’m radiant when I leave.

 

 

Martuni’s – All Original Set!

I finished up my gig at Martuni’s tonight with my first set there with all original songs. Milestone crossed off my list, yay! I was terrified when I got up on stage, and my mood had been down most of the day. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to give it my best. I forgot some important words in my first song, Poison, but I recovered during Porcelain Doll and Cycles. Credit definitely goes to my voice teacher and accompanist, Robert Robinson (RHR studios), for doing an amazing job. I had a great time watching the other performers, and loved meeting some really great people who’d come out to watch and support their friends.