Tag: art

Happy Wednesday :)

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I had a genuinely good day yesterday, and was happy. 🙂 Some of my work projects are winding down, I gave pointed, critical feedback to executives at work about some major work overload issues that were affecting the entire company. My feedback was (at least on the surface) received well, which was a good feeling.

I was also able to provide all the information needed for a new contact at a new branch we’re launching during a call, and could really see how much my knowledge about our product has grown. It was a really good feeling to be able to help them out with every question they had during the call without having to say, “let me get back to you on that one.”

Spent some time relaxing, singing and working on a new song after what felt like ages. Hoping for a peaceful end to the week, and so excited about the 3 day weekend!

Take care, peeps. I hope you are all staying safe and well!

Pathway To Peace Course

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A close friend of mine suggested I do a writing course with her called “Pathway to Peace” a few weeks ago. It was a four week course, and this past week was the final week of the course. It was an amazing experience, and I turned a couple of the writing prompts into songs.

The final assignment was writing a sacred letter to your younger self. I had plenty to write, but here were the three most important points I walked away with for my past and future self:

  1. Maintain the belief that you are worthy. Everything in life is a process, and believing in your worth is not something I take for granted. But for me, it is essential and deserves time and effort.
  2. Prioritize your health as being critically important. I learned some tough lessons early, and ignoring what your body needs means you’re too broken to show up for the stuff that matters if you don’t listen. And by then it’s much harder, if even possible, to fix the problem.
  3. Be true to yourself. Cliche, but so true. Trying to force yourself to become someone else version of what’s right for you will leave you feeling empty and drained. I’m really flawed, but I also have good things to offer. If I ignore that completely, everyone will miss out on the good stuff. 🙂

Musings for a Saturday. The air finally cleared later today, and I’m grateful for it. I’m happy I can finally think clearly and don’t have a burning sensation in my throat. 🙂

10K+ Monthly Listeners on Spotify!

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Today started off with some really good news: I’ve crossed 10K monthly listeners on Spotify! Was so excited to see that this morning!

A bright spot for me in a tough couple of weeks out here with the massive fires in California. San Francisco and other parts of the Bay Area have been covered in smoke for a couple of weeks now, and it’s been hard to breathe or think. Some of us have been feeling really ill from inhaling all the pollution.

Strange times, these. I’m grateful for a break from worrying about the future, not just my own for the next several decades of my life, but the legacy we leave behind for future generations as climate change, environmental damage and social inequities continue be problems for the world.

More to follow on that as the fires continue to rage…

Back to the Future

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Starting to think about the future amid the horrible wildfires, pandemic, social unrest and feeling like I’m not growing or moving in the right direction at any level this morning. To combat this feeling, I put myself together like I was presenting in front of a client today. I’m wearing one of my favorite business casual dresses, I put makeup and earrings on and did my hair. Helped for a bit.

Then I reached out to one of my best friends to ask her how she was doing. I was honest when she asked me the same question and said I was feeling sad about my future. She then reminded me that, “everyone’s future is blurry right now.” And she’s 100% right. Sadly, yet also comfortingly, I’m not in this alone. The world is reeling from these tectonic shifts and I’m along for the ride just like everybody else.

The smoke made it hard to breathe today, even with the doors shut and my air purifier cranked up to its highest setting. But finally, the air is starting to clear, the acrid smoke smell still lingers, but it’s starting to fade.

I came up with another company idea today, something I haven’t done in a while. One of the best things about being stuck in isolation with my brain is I’m letting it play more and more, and it’s an amazing feeling. I lean into every crazy idea like I used to when I was younger, and explore it until it dies a natural death or becomes an enduring learning experience.

Some ideas are songs, some become cover art for new singles. Some become a new mission, or an old drive solidified. It’s good to know my mind is still awake, learning and open, even with the smoke and lack of oxygen.

Connection

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I caught up with some close family members today in person. We were socially distanced and wearing masks to be safe, but just the act of getting together in person felt incredible. It was a reminder that “socially distanced” does not mean emotional isolation, and doesn’t even mean absolute physical separation if you follow regulations and safety precautions such as wearing masks and keeping your distance. There was a lot of hand sanitizer used as well. 🙂

This is the new normal. There won’t be a “going back to the way things were” for a long time, if ever. While it does make me sad because I loved the life I had, the key thing moving forward is to make sure that we continue to find ways to be human and connect with each other. I realized last week that I was trying to just wait it out until we get to the other side, but I’m not sure that reality exists.

The past few months have been difficult and draining for me and a lot of other people. There are a few folks like my brother who are perfectly fine, though he has his puppy for company. For more social folks like myself who rely on communities and gatherings and seeing people face to face (which I absolutely love), it’s been a real challenge. I’ve missed my family and friends, I’ve missed the random connections with strangers in the city, I’ve missed the shows, the music, the art, the culture.

I’m not sure what the future will look like right now, but I need to figure out how I can define my own sense of connection in it. If I can think of it as an interesting new problem to solve, or pretend like I’m an astronaut or a space explorer, I might be able to make it something fun instead of something that’s cause for despair.

Only time will tell.

Another Monday :)

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Mondays are my least favorite day of the week, and I dread them. Dealing with it is just a matter of setting up tasks to get done and break it into small pieces and just check things off so the emotions don’t get debilitating, the resistance doesn’t kick in. I already can’t wait for the week to be over…

Skin

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Today was a difficult day, and this week’s been more difficult than other weeks. Over the past few years and months, the unfair and harsh realities of life have become acutely clear, and my ability to cope has been truly tested.

One ray of sunshine is my latest release going live in a few hours. 🙂 This song is about loving yourself as you are, and accepting truths you can’t change and yet valuing your growth and potential no matter what other people say or do to you. It’s one of my favourites. I hope you all enjoy it and are able to find peace and joy this weekend.

Red and Pink :)

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I’m the kind of person who often wears black on Valentine’s Day just to make a statement. But this year I’m wearing pink and I’m going to help decorate the office in bright, bold colors tomorrow. I feel like I’m at the stage where I want to celebrate everything I can, and add as much color to my life as possible. Even if it’s Hallmark Day. 🙂

Hope your weekend starts with love, hope, and forgiveness! Here’s one of my favorite songs from Broken, Perfect:

Broken, Perfect (Album) – I can’t believe it’s finally over

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A huge thanks to all the people I roped into this project: we did it. 🙂 Robert sent me the final versions of all the masters for “Broken, Perfect” last week, and I uploaded all of them on Soundcloud on Friday. Here’s the link! https://soundcloud.com/samayaformusic/albums

My friend Maira (an amazing graphic designer) designed the cover, and captured the heart of what I was trying to convey incredibly well. Thank you!

I can’t believe it’s done. Strange mixture of emotions, relief (we made it to the finish line), happiness (OMG, I’ve released my second album!!), but also a very real sense of loss (what’s the point of my life now??). A part of me almost feels shell shocked, because we’ve been pounding the pavement so hard for a while to get the album done. I think this is what empty nest syndrome must feel like. 🙂

The next project is our show at Brick and Mortar on August 6th (Sunday). The date is coming up really fast; I feel like this crazy year’s been speeding by.

Wish me luck on everything else to come, and hope you all had an amazing weekend!image1

Strange Day (If I’m being completely honest, not that strange)

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I went to a really fun birthday party last night, met some very cool people there. I finished nearly all my errands yesterday and had a pretty productive day as well, so the evening was completely pressure free. I was worried the introversion dragon (an undeniable part of my soul) was going to surface and demand its needs be met, but it was quiet.

I felt fresh and sprightly this morning. I worked out, then went to my voice lesson which I enjoyed. I dressed up for a birthday barbecue in the afternoon and as I was working up the energy to leave my place for the party it hit. 15 minutes before the party was going to start, I called my brother confessing that I desperately needed some alone time and was thinking of  flaking out on a good friend. Feeling extremely guilty, I kept trying to beat myself up. I’m not a flake, I try hard to show up when I commit so not showing up was rough. But my brain wasn’t having any of it. My brother’s one of my closest friends, and can usually separate need from laziness on my end. “Say something came up and you can’t make it.” But I haven’t seen my friend in a long time, and he’s just gotten better from being really sick. “Send him a gift.”

As I realized what I was going to do (send my friend a deeply apologetic note asking to meet for dinner some other time, and stay home), I said with a note of glee, “I bought a bottle of white wine for the party, and I’m going to crack it open over lunch and Netflix.” I spent the afternoon watching the Jem and The Holograms cartoon series from the late 80’s, and experimenting with different food and snack options to complement the Sauvignon blanc I had just opened. Some takeaways from this: my lunch of tomato and cheese sandwich paired with an arugula, strawberries and walnut salad worked extremely well with the wine. Luna bars don’t. Swiss cheese with Dijon mustard, lemon juice and really tangy and hot pepper sauce also works.

A part of me wants to judge myself as being lame and childish, but my afternoon was thoroughly enjoyable.