I was desolate when I saw the news on Friday: that the Notorious RBG, one of my heroes and a true legend, had passed away. Things are so uncertain now American friends of mine are starting to panic. I have no idea what the next few months will look like for me, a brown, immigrant woman witnessing the US’ social and political upheaval.
But this weekend brought a breath of fresh air and sunshine. Restaurants and salons have started to open up, and I’m seeing happier faces on the streets. I met up with two sets of friends for food over the weekend, and got my nails done. Being around people I love was wonderful, and reminded me all the amazing aspects of my life I used to love. The weather was sunny and perfect, and the air quality was so good that it was almost hard to remember the wildfires.
As we continue to move forward with this crazy year and a really murky future, I’m grateful I had a lovely weekend of laughter, good food, and loved ones. Oh, and my toenails are now an iridescent, shimmering teal. 🙂
Here’s to hoping there’s hope, here’s to love and laughter. Hope you are all staying safe and well! Much love.
Only a week away, but the season already feels like it’s ended. I wore fall colors today (wine) to celebrate. AQI is 42 and green right now, I’m so grateful, relieved and happy to see that. Sadly, Portland is still in bad shape. Hoping it rains there soon to help.
Feeling peaceful and calm today, despite a hectic and frazzled morning. Hope you are all well!
I can’t breathe properly, despite my air purifier. I’ve been paying attention to the threshold changes today, and I could really notice the difference from 160 to 238. I thought it was in the red all afternoon (176 when I’d last checked), but during a meeting I started feeling progressively more light headed and tired and mentally foggy. I checked right after, curious, and realized why I was feeling awful: the AQI is 238 right now.
Still feeling calm, which I’m grateful for. Also have amazing family and friends checking in and staying in touch, thank you all so much for staying connected. I’m so grateful for you and I love you.
My second purifier has been shipped, and will hopefully arrive soon. The one I’ve currently got running is maxed out as the air indoors isn’t really holding out.
I had a genuinely good day yesterday, and was happy. 🙂 Some of my work projects are winding down, I gave pointed, critical feedback to executives at work about some major work overload issues that were affecting the entire company. My feedback was (at least on the surface) received well, which was a good feeling.
I was also able to provide all the information needed for a new contact at a new branch we’re launching during a call, and could really see how much my knowledge about our product has grown. It was a really good feeling to be able to help them out with every question they had during the call without having to say, “let me get back to you on that one.”
Spent some time relaxing, singing and working on a new song after what felt like ages. Hoping for a peaceful end to the week, and so excited about the 3 day weekend!
Take care, peeps. I hope you are all staying safe and well!
The wildfires tinted the sky yellow on Monday, and I was inspired to wear this dress to start the week off right.
I actually had a wonderful Monday, which was a nice break. Then on Tuesday I found out I probably got scammed via Instagram to become a brand ambassador, ended up running into a major issue and working 16+ hours trying to solve it, still haven’t fixed it and today was another long day at work. I feel worn out, but at the point where everything is just sad and absurd. 🙂 So I’m still able to laugh, which I’m grateful for.
I’m weirdly calm, because of a complete loss of hope, I think, lol. I read an article reviewing a book written by a Buddhist monk, or maybe it was an interview? The main gist I walked away with was: in order to truly find solutions and achieve peace, you need to stop hoping for something better.
This is reality, peeps. This is what we’ve got. So what do we do with it? I’m grateful tomorrow’s Thursday. I tried to take vacation tomorrow and Friday, but I’m swamped and will probably end up working through some of my PTO. Really hope I finish the week launching these, because I really like our partners/clients. They take a lot of pride in what they do, and I want to make sure we really give them the value they’re looking for. It’s how businesses grow.
Will find out on Friday, I guess. Is it weird that I’m looking forward to my dentist’s appointment tomorrow? I really like their office and the people who work there. 🙂
Today started off with some really good news: I’ve crossed 10K monthly listeners on Spotify! Was so excited to see that this morning!
A bright spot for me in a tough couple of weeks out here with the massive fires in California. San Francisco and other parts of the Bay Area have been covered in smoke for a couple of weeks now, and it’s been hard to breathe or think. Some of us have been feeling really ill from inhaling all the pollution.
Strange times, these. I’m grateful for a break from worrying about the future, not just my own for the next several decades of my life, but the legacy we leave behind for future generations as climate change, environmental damage and social inequities continue be problems for the world.
More to follow on that as the fires continue to rage…
Starting to think about the future amid the horrible wildfires, pandemic, social unrest and feeling like I’m not growing or moving in the right direction at any level this morning. To combat this feeling, I put myself together like I was presenting in front of a client today. I’m wearing one of my favorite business casual dresses, I put makeup and earrings on and did my hair. Helped for a bit.
Then I reached out to one of my best friends to ask her how she was doing. I was honest when she asked me the same question and said I was feeling sad about my future. She then reminded me that, “everyone’s future is blurry right now.” And she’s 100% right. Sadly, yet also comfortingly, I’m not in this alone. The world is reeling from these tectonic shifts and I’m along for the ride just like everybody else.
The smoke made it hard to breathe today, even with the doors shut and my air purifier cranked up to its highest setting. But finally, the air is starting to clear, the acrid smoke smell still lingers, but it’s starting to fade.
I came up with another company idea today, something I haven’t done in a while. One of the best things about being stuck in isolation with my brain is I’m letting it play more and more, and it’s an amazing feeling. I lean into every crazy idea like I used to when I was younger, and explore it until it dies a natural death or becomes an enduring learning experience.
Some ideas are songs, some become cover art for new singles. Some become a new mission, or an old drive solidified. It’s good to know my mind is still awake, learning and open, even with the smoke and lack of oxygen.
I had a wonderful, lovely quick chat with my father this morning. He and I had had a big argument a few days prior, and I hadn’t talked to him since though I’d called my mom. It took a lot to pick up the phone to try again. My parents were in the middle of a movie, so the call was brief, but there was so much love and affection and happiness in his voice. He was really glad I’d called.
After I jumped off the call, I enjoyed my peace for a few seconds before going down the negative thought spirals that so often consume my waking days now. Anger at the system, anger at the bad leaders I’ve been exposed to at the international and smaller level at my company. Anger at the sexism and racism that I and so many of my friends have faced. Anger at the lack of repercussions and accountability at the very top where it matters the most. The burdens of some of the biggest problems are always borne by the people who can least afford to bear it.
To break the cycle, I brought myself back to my dad’s voice over the phone. It made me smile. Time for a list of things I’m grateful for:
My family’s love, despite past disagreements. Right now, I choose to focus on our togetherness and unfailing love.
I just finished a delicious cup of hot cocoa I’d made with spices that I really enjoyed. 🙂
It’s a soft, foggy, humid, contemplative day in San Francisco. While I love sunny days, these types of days bring me peace because it slows my pace of thinking down if I allow it to sink in. If I allow myself to be present in the now.
I’ve been getting tons of rest during the night this weekend. All the emotions, frustration, feeling trapped, anger, sadness and disappointment have been taking a toll on my sleep, so I’m really grateful that I’ve been able to get several nights of wonderful, rejuvenating sleep. It was much needed.
I had an awesome Saturday. I was happy most of the day yesterday even though I mostly just ran errands and worked out and sang as usual. I got to hang out virtually with my brother and we watched a movie together on Netflix and then chatted about it on Skype.
I’m grateful that technology still allows me to be close to people who are far away, who I really miss.
I’m catching up with other close friends today.
Happy Sunday! I hope you find things that bring you peace and joy today!
Today was a difficult day, and this week’s been more difficult than other weeks. Over the past few years and months, the unfair and harsh realities of life have become acutely clear, and my ability to cope has been truly tested.
One ray of sunshine is my latest release going live in a few hours. 🙂 This song is about loving yourself as you are, and accepting truths you can’t change and yet valuing your growth and potential no matter what other people say or do to you. It’s one of my favourites. I hope you all enjoy it and are able to find peace and joy this weekend.