Broken, Perfect (Album) – I can’t believe it’s finally over

A huge thanks to all the people I roped into this project: we did it. 🙂 Robert sent me the final versions of all the masters for “Broken, Perfect” last week, and I uploaded all of them on Soundcloud on Friday. Here’s the link! https://soundcloud.com/samayaformusic/albums

My friend Maira (an amazing graphic designer) designed the cover, and captured the heart of what I was trying to convey incredibly well. Thank you!

I can’t believe it’s done. Strange mixture of emotions, relief (we made it to the finish line), happiness (OMG, I’ve released my second album!!), but also a very real sense of loss (what’s the point of my life now??). A part of me almost feels shell shocked, because we’ve been pounding the pavement so hard for a while to get the album done. I think this is what empty nest syndrome must feel like. 🙂

The next project is our show at Brick and Mortar on August 6th (Sunday). The date is coming up really fast; I feel like this crazy year’s been speeding by.

Wish me luck on everything else to come, and hope you all had an amazing weekend!image1

Spring: My favourite season’s long standing betrayal

I love spring and summer. And yet, for several years in a row these two seasons have brought me waves of difficulties and grief, but also art and depth. It’s time to stop doing the easy thing, and do something drastically different to at least give my brain a break from the grind that large aspects of my life have become. If there were no constraints in life, I know exactly what I would want to do with myself. Unfortunately, I’m bound by a lot of limitations on what I can do based on where I want to live. The choice before me is the same one I faced at this time last year: choose to leave the country, or learn to fit the requirements of the average corporate job. Feels like a choice between the devil and the deep sea.

Instruments of procrastination?

I’m still trying to dig myself out of my current life situation, and it’s a great spur for creativity. Or is my sudden flare of inspiration really an instrument of procrastination? Anyway, I’m going to ride it while it lasts.

I’m bummed over having to wait for a few things to resolve themselves as I keep trying to churn out some sort of an output. Nothing feels more useless than when effort results in no positive outcome.

I also wish I had a little more faith left in people, and didn’t feel like my trust issues are getting worse as I get older. I’m really lucky, I met some of my closest friends when I could still trust people, and I have some close family members I really trust to be constructive forces in my life. I’ve recently been let down by a few key people in my life that I believed in pretty strongly, but I’m optimistic that I’ll regain my faith in people with time.

I guess things aren’t so bad, after all. 🙂

Cards

So, the world’s dealt a few more cards and I wonder how these will affect the turn of events over the next few months and years. Sometimes I wonder how much scope there is for free will in life, and whether we even have a choice or any influence over what happens in our lives.

A lot of biologists stop believing in free will after they start working in the life sciences, as choices could merely be interpreted as your genetic make up interacting with your environment, and the rest is up to stochasticity. A few religions, such as Hinduism, eliminate the concept of choice as well by invoking ideas like Fate, or God. Is choice merely an illusory concept that we humans came up with in order to prevent ourselves from having a collective nervous breakdown?

Or does choice really exist, and if it does, what is its basis? How do we choose what we choose? How do you settle on the best decision, or is that simply something we look back on after a series of resulting events have passed and rationalize? What is regret?

With modern lives that throw opportunities and changes our way constantly, the concept of straightforward and obvious choices may have been eliminated completely. What is the most important thing for a person? Does it vary from person to person? Or do we have one common priority in life as a species?

If I had to pick my strongest drivers, I think I would settle on the following three in no particular order: happiness, music, and the people that I love. And I think I can narrow it down further–with music and the people that I love around me, I think I could be happy. Is happiness a choice that we make in our heads?