I am descending into one of the worst versions of me. I can’t really pinpoint anything constructive I’ve done today, except for a long overseas call to my mother. I just tore myself away from looking up clips of really bad romantic comedy movies on Youtube. And only because I couldn’t find the next part of the clip, and realized I was doing something I absolutely hated–watching other people’s fake lives on a screen just to give my mind something easy to feed on. Did I ever admit that I used to be addicted to television? I had fifty free cable channels at one point, but still ended up watching Sharon Osbourne or Jerry Springer over lunch. Not good.
Luckily, tomorrow should be packed with activity and I’ll be out and about all day. I hate waiting for things to happen. My brain is compulsive, and starts getting into silly patterns when’s it feels like it’s not being productive. I need to start meeting more friends, and I need to start writing music even if I get nothing else done during the day just so I feel like I’m accomplishing something constructive.
Alright, time to spend the last few hours of the day getting things done. Maybe I can still salvage this.