Carry A Hot Stone That Burns

Still working through grief, hurt, sadness, anger, and perhaps even a touch of rage. I think it’s tied to feeling like I’m tapped out on what I can change feeling stationary. I only leave my home to go grocery shopping or occasionally to a restaurant to get some food. I’m not sure I remember how to walk properly anymore, though I can definitely still dance, do yoga and barre workouts. 🙂 I’m grateful for these.

Still angry at some people who have hurt me in the past, who have hurt me more recently. It’s remarkable how cruel and heinous people can be when they’re bullying, toxic and abusive, sometimes even racist and sexist, but are shocked when you protest against their behavior or call them out on it. I don’t understand how you can lack self awareness and compassion at such a fundamental level. I also am not strong enough to bear the burden of communication, because I’ve de-escalated many times in the past. I’m just too tired to do it anymore.

Leave a Reply