Where do I begin. A couple of days ago I realized that I honestly didn’t know how I felt. Today I feel calm, like I went for a nice long swim but without the contentment and the happiness afterwards. Maybe you could call that numb. I’m grateful for the peace and quiet in my mind, don’t get me wrong. But a part of me wishes I could feel other things as well.
I’m just waiting for the inauguration for now. It was a shock to me that despite Joe Biden’s decisive win, certification, we still ended up at the brink of a civil war with violence and riots in the lead up. Pictures of the capitol with all the troops camping on site to protect American democracy against its own citizens made me deeply sad. I never thought I would witness a day like this.
I’m an immigrant. I chose to move to the US as a 17 year old for college. A huge part of me has recently been asking myself the question, did I pick the wrong country? Canada is right next door, and things look so much better there. What happened with the insurrection in the US is unthinkable in other industrialized countries. Unthinkable. And the divide between the rich and the poor continues to grow.
I’m glad I have a long weekend. I’m hoping I find enough emotion to finish the next single I’m working on. I love it every time I pull it up on Logic to work on it, but I give up after a few cycles of listening and harmonizing to the lead melody. Keeping my fingers crossed the extra time with give me the push I need. 🙂 I cooked a lot of lovely food last night and today, and it made me feel more at ease. Paying attention to my health is one way that I center myself, and food is an important part of that.
Hope everyone is staying safe and well and taking care of themselves.